The conventional wisdom (as in Jeffrey Fox of How to Become CEO: The Rules for Rising to the Top of Any Organization, or in  John T. Molloy’s New Dress for Success, etc.) is that one should show respect for ones coworkers and clients by striving to be the best-dressed person in the room.

Guy Kawasaki advises us in his book Enchantment: The Art of Changing Hearts, Minds, and Actions to “dress for a tie,” meaning to dress as you think your coworkers or clients will dress to show a spirit of equality.

Personally, I think that showing up for a meeting in a nice business suit sets the tone. I’ve noticed that I’m more likely to get attention without raising my voice, I’m more likely to have my suggestions taken seriously without having to verbally emphasize my point, and we get more done when I dress more carefully.

I’m also concerned that morale in a workplace slips when people come to work dressed in very casual clothes.  It won’t be long before we show up to work in our pajamas and flip flops with uncombed hair.

What do you think?

While Tareq has the impeccable manners of someone who was brought up by strong women in Europe and the Middle East, Mark has the more casual manners of a modern American. It's a great film, besides being a very instructive comparison!

I saw the movie Cairo Time on cable last night, and one thing that really stood out in the movie was the difference in manners between the characters Tareq and Mark.

While Tareq has the impeccable manners of someone who was brought up by strong women in Europe and the Middle East, Mark has the more casual manners of a modern American.  It’s a great film, besides being a very instructive comparison!

Written and directed by the Oscar nominated Ruba Nadda, and starring Patricia Clarkson (Shutter Island, Vicky Christina Barcelona) and Alexander Siddig (Star Trek: The Next Generation), Cairo Time tells the story of marriage, romance, culture and far-flung travel. Set against the magical Egyptian landscape, Cairo Time is a film of beautiful cinematography, which contributed to its 2009 Canadian Film Circuits’ People’s Choice Award, and shared in its stand-out success at the Tribeca Film Festival in New York.

Juliette (Clarkson) is married to Mark who works as a government diplomat abroad. Their adult children have moved on and Juliette is wishing for more time with her husband, which was the reason for their trip to Cairo. In the Egyptian city on her own as she waits for her husband’s delayed arrival, Juliette finds herself caught in a whirlwind romance with his friend Tareq.

I should say that many American men have impeccable manners as well. I am lucky enough to be married to a man who was raised in the South and opens doors, helps me off with my coat, and so on.

Seeing the movie made me remember an incident my son had in college.   He was in a class where they were discussing ethics and manners and the topic came up of opening doors for women.

Some of the young women in the class felt that opening a woman’s car door, or holding open the door of a building, was somehow anti-feminist, that it was a statement that “women are weak.”

My son, (who was, of course, raised to be an opener of doors) made the point that we also open doors for presidents and ambassadors.  He advocated the thought that it was a gesture of respect. His opinion wasn’t popular.  But I was proud of him for speaking up.

What do you think?  If you’re a woman do you find old-fashioned manners attractive?  If you’re a man, have you been discouraged from using traditional “manly” manners?

In sales and marketing, shaking hands is a vital skill.   A mentor taught me that a woman always offers a handshake first, because men in some parts of the U.S. are taught to wait until a lady makes the first move to shake hands.

I once went to shake the hand of a gentleman I was being introduced to at a wedding in Lahore.

“I am not permitted”  he said, backing away.

I took the hint, and we continued to have a fascinating conversation about how we knew the bride.  The gentleman was just that – very civilized, polished and friendly; and I knew that some devout Muslim men don’t shake hands with women.

There are less-religious reasons that people avoid handshakes -

Deal or No Deal host Howie Mandel prefers “knuckle bumps” to handshakes, he reportedly adopted the gesture as a friendly way to avoid his contestants’ germs.

And this week, Indonesia’s pious information minister, Tifatul Sembiring, is reportedly in hot water for touching the hand of First Lady Michelle Obama, in what he describes as forced contact.  From the video of the reception line, it didn’t appear that Mrs. Obama was forcing herself on anyone.

Apparently, the handshake is not as ubiquitous as it once was.  What are your thoughts?

Simplify the Holidays

It might seem early, but as crazy as last year’s holiday season was, I’ve resolved to get a jump on it.

Here are some ideas for keeping in touch with clients, customers and contacts during the holidays:

• Send Thanksgiving cards. Christmas cards come in a pile with everyone else’s, so Thanksgiving cards stand out and get noticed. It’s a great opportunity to tell your customers you’re thankful they did business with you this year and you’re looking forward to next year.

• Import your lists from your customer database into your SendOutCards account to make holiday greetings easier.

• Use your own handwriting. SendOutCards has a great program for importing your handwriting. It works better than I expected.

• You can set up your cards any time you like, and they’ll go out when you specify. This makes it easier to enjoy the holidays NOT at your computer!

If you don’t have a SendOutCards account, you can a free trial account by clicking this link.

When does “attention to detail” become “micromanagement?”

A friend of mine is a perfectionist and runs a tight ship in his department at a large company. He has a great reputation and his team thinks he’s great.  Except for one guy, who uses the “M” word every time he has a disagreement with my friend.

Now, I’m a person that hates being managed at all, and micromanagement in particular has a connotation of a nosy boss looking over your shoulder all the time critiquing everything you do and the way that you do it.  I think people need to be trusted and given latitude to do their job their own way so that it’s satisfying to them and takes advantage of their unique skills and preferences.

On the other hand, it IS necessary for bosses to define objectives and make sure that quality standards are met. In competitive industries, it’s absolutely vital to the company’s success (and even survival) to ensure that employees produce top-notch products and services.

Where do YOU draw the line between attention to detail and micromanagement?

Found an article in Bloomberg.com – number one on their list of 10 Management Practices to Axe is a good one -

Forced Ranking

The idea behind forced ranking is that when you evaluate your employees against one another, you’ll see who’s most critical on the team and who’s most expendable. This theory rests on the notion that we can exhort our reports to work together for the sake of the team 364 days a year and then, when it really counts, pit them against one another in a zero-sum competitive exercise. That’s a decent strategy for TV shows such as Survivor but disastrous for organizations that intend to stay in business for the long term. What to do instead: Evaluate employees against written goals and move quickly to remove poor performers all the time (not just once a year).

Forced ranking is something most managers are  asked to do if they’re in the game long enough, and it’s so ingrained in many corporate cultures that it takes some backbone to resist. When John was managing a technology group several years ago, he had the opportunity to supervise a fantastic group of people. He ranked them all “outstanding” and was told by his manager that he couldn’t do that.  It took quite some doing to convince the heirarchy that they really WERE all outstanding, and to play silly games with HR to make it everyone’s evaluations come out accurate and fair.

The only possible result from people who actually DO forced rankings are these:

Option One – Your people step on each other climbing the “ladder” and currying favor.

Option Two – Decent employees who refuse to participate in Option One start devoting their energy to looking for work in a more cooperative environment.

Being able to give a presentation to a chamber of commerce, business group, or even a group of coworkers can be daunting. Most people are more nervous about public speaking than they should be. The great thing about that is that if you can summon the courage, you will find several advantages:

• Speaking gives you the opportunity to become known in the community
• You are seen as an expert on the topic of your presentation
• It’s a great platform for sales or conveying your ideas

Since so few people consider public speaking, you’ll have relatively little competition, and most groups that meet regularly are looking for speakers.   You can add your speaking availability to your website and you may be surprised to be invited to speak for groups you may not have known about it.

Some tips for doing it well:

• Find out as much as you can about the audience. If you know something about the area or about the group of people you’re talking about, you can make relevant comments and use relevant humor.
• Know your topic very very well.  Whether you take questions or not, being knowledgeable about history, recent developments, and everything in between about your topic will make you feel more comfortable.
• Dress up.  Wearing an outfit that makes you feel great and confident will help your presentation.   Preferably, wear something you’ve worn before so you know it’s going to be comfortable and appropriate and won’t surprise you with a sleeve that’s too tight while you’re making a hand gesture!
• Don’t try to convey too much at a time.  One to three key ideas with supporting information and facts is plenty for most 20-30 minute speaking engagements.
• Enjoy it!  People can tell that you enjoy your audience and your topic.

Have a great time!  And let us know if you have any other tips for aspiring speakers.

A business etiquette quiz that was quite good -

This one had me stumped:

16-  You’re scheduled to meet a business associate for working lunch and you arrive a few minutes early to find a suitable table. 30 minutes later your associate still hasn’t arrived. Do you:

1. order your lunch and eat?
2. continue waiting and fuming that your associate isn’t there?
3. tell the head waiter you’re not staying and give him our card with instructions to present it to your associate to prove you were there?
4. after 15 minutes call your associate?

Their answer:

A. You’ve waited 30 minutes. Expect an apology later, though.

Do you agree?    I think they’re right other than that it’s rarely productive to “expect an apology.”  And if it was a friend or client you have a relationship with, I would call after 15 minutes.  It’s possible they’re stuck in traffic. (Although THEY should be doing the calling if that’s the case.)

Take the quiz -

http://www.gradview.com/articles/careers/etiquette.html

With the recession as awful as it is, all businesses are looking for ways to reduce costs.

One of the best ways to reduce costs is to get rid of expensive phone service.  Phone companies like Skype, Vonage and other internet-based (Voice-Over-IP) programs are MUCH less expensive, especially for long distance and international calling.

Business VOIP also has some great features:

• You can usually request numbers with any area code you like, so you can be “local” in any area that you have a lot of customers.
• You can forward a VOIP service to your cell phone, so you get calls when you’re out of the office.
• You can often take the hardware with you, with a Magic Jack of VOIP box, you can carry it with you and receive calls even when you travel.

The call quality is usually excellent, (as long as you have high-speed internet) so you lose nothing!  In some cases, you can keep the same phone number.

We’re always looking for ways to help businesses.  If you have a great idea, let us know!