While Tareq has the impeccable manners of someone who was brought up by strong women in Europe and the Middle East, Mark has the more casual manners of a modern American. It's a great film, besides being a very instructive comparison!
I saw the movie Cairo Time on cable last night, and one thing that really stood out in the movie was the difference in manners between the characters Tareq and Mark.
While Tareq has the impeccable manners of someone who was brought up by strong women in Europe and the Middle East, Mark has the more casual manners of a modern American. It’s a great film, besides being a very instructive comparison!
Written and directed by the Oscar nominated Ruba Nadda, and starring Patricia Clarkson (Shutter Island, Vicky Christina Barcelona) and Alexander Siddig (Star Trek: The Next Generation), Cairo Time tells the story of marriage, romance, culture and far-flung travel. Set against the magical Egyptian landscape, Cairo Time is a film of beautiful cinematography, which contributed to its 2009 Canadian Film Circuits’ People’s Choice Award, and shared in its stand-out success at the Tribeca Film Festival in New York.
Juliette (Clarkson) is married to Mark who works as a government diplomat abroad. Their adult children have moved on and Juliette is wishing for more time with her husband, which was the reason for their trip to Cairo. In the Egyptian city on her own as she waits for her husband’s delayed arrival, Juliette finds herself caught in a whirlwind romance with his friend Tareq.
I should say that many American men have impeccable manners as well. I am lucky enough to be married to a man who was raised in the South and opens doors, helps me off with my coat, and so on.
Seeing the movie made me remember an incident my son had in college.  He was in a class where they were discussing ethics and manners and the topic came up of opening doors for women.
Some of the young women in the class felt that opening a woman’s car door, or holding open the door of a building, was somehow anti-feminist, that it was a statement that “women are weak.”
My son, (who was, of course, raised to be an opener of doors) made the point that we also open doors for presidents and ambassadors. He advocated the thought that it was a gesture of respect. His opinion wasn’t popular. But I was proud of him for speaking up.
What do you think? If you’re a woman do you find old-fashioned manners attractive? If you’re a man, have you been discouraged from using traditional “manly” manners?
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hi paula,
i enjoyed reading this post on my linkedin acct; as a single parent who raised my son Bryce, i made sure respect and social etiquette toward women were basics in his upbringing. i sense that many US women have perhaps carried the feminist perspective too far and those raised w/such a mother now carry the same belief system.
Thanks for the thoughtful comment, Julie!
It’s good to hear that. . .
-Paula
I will just keep on suffering the wrath of the few who do not appreciate my respect. Doors will be opened & Ma’am will be spoken. My Momma raised me to be a gentleman.
Hello Paula!
If one if a careful observer, the women who usually gripe about such things are the type that most men wouldn’t want to hold the door for anyway! But out of self-respect, and of the gender overall, they do such things as be polite. If I hold the door for a man, does that make me gay? I don’t think so…
Is it “genteel”? Possibly? Is it “old-fashioned”? Probably. Is it “civil”? Most definitely. From this observers point of view, I’ve never had anyone gripe or complain about having an over abundance of manners…except maybe kids who need to be taught ‘em!
Part of the purpose of manners is to make the world overall a more civil place. It’s not about feminism or the lack thereof, but of simple deference to possibly making someone else’s day just a bit brighter.
If they can’t handle that then it’s their problem…Maam!
John
Oh, Paula I will try to watch this film.
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Hello Paula
i was raised with good manners and to be polite, i always open the doors on buildings for wmomen , i just think it is polite to do so,and most of the time you get a smile and a thank you.
well said john i totally agree with you ,i would hold a door open for anyone male or female with no hidden agendas,just to be polite.
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knives,swords and blades
I am a man (a plumber by trade) that was raised in the South. There is nothing more comfortable to me then a clear difference in the sexes. I am not ashamed to admit that I liked that movie too!
Our magazine–”The Caribbean & Hispanic Business Journal” has a keen interest in these stories for our readership, thank you for an insightful article and shedding some light on this topic. There are difference that we need to be aware and most of all understand what the core values are when dealing with people from other cultures.
Stacy Holloway
Editor & Publisher
Caribbean Travel News
Life is great if lived with good manners and good attitudinal behavior. Psychologically and as general, everybody could be handled with the type ‘Good’ manners.
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I say good on your Son for standing up for the values he was brought up with!
Old fashion or not, I think the real deal with relationships is that you share the same wavelength. You may be two different individuals but somewhere in the middle you should be able to meet at one point. It is still quite cute though to see teenagers of today even at least go experience courtship still, since many are really turning into extremely liberal animals these days. Nice entry and nice film! Hope you can check out my site too on awnings for sale.
I didn’t watch the movie your talking about but I’m sure that I’ts great same as your post. I think and I observed that most of the teenager this days and especially here in our place doesn’t know the meaning of manner and courtship anymore. They just do what ever they want to do without realizing the consequences of there actions.
this sounds like an interesting movie to watch
And I absolutely agree with your son’s opinion, opening the door for a woman is a sign of respect and I really don’t see anything wrong with that. Unfortunately its a rare thing for a man to make the effort to do this nowadays.
Kate Gasset
International Propertiesand Investment Inc
Visit my Website @ Homes in Wellington
I can’t understand how a woman would object to politeness. Or how anyone would object to it. I suspect that they have a deep seated resentment and hostility to something, not sure what it is, though.
I give up my seat on buses to the elderly, do they get resentful? Most of the time I don’t think so. They’re grateful.
Its normal and natural that men are different from women. By necessity their behavior is different too. To make both sexes identical is to loose something beautiful and human.
I really think it is ridiculous when anyone objects to some one doing something nicer thoughtful for them, when a gentleman holds the door open for a lady her opens her car door they should read into a weakness they should be grateful and appreciate the thoughtful gesture
I’m a man and don’t think it’s in an way disrespectful to open a door for a woman. However, you should *also* open doors for men. I’ll open a door for anyone out of a sign of respect for them.